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19. My brother was leaving to go away for college. And at the airport to see him off, my parents said, "Well we hope that you're going to call, you know, maybe every Sunday, okay?" 20. How many black muslims does it take to change a light bulb? 21. The black muslims have been criticized for making the statement that the white man is the devil. Perhaps, they have been misquoted, and it would be fairer to white people to say that the white man is the slave owner, who raped their wives and daughters, tortured and put in chains their people and held them in chattel slavery for hundreds of years, divided our families - mother from daughter, wife from husband, and built this country on the blood of their labor, footnoted and with proper citations. 22. Why did Elijah Muhammad have Malcom X killed? - He heard that Malcolm X was going around and telling people that he was the one who came up with the bow-tie idea. 23. Cyber sex: there's a fine line between cyber sex and data entry. 24. When my brother eventually came home from college, he would invariably get phone calls from the banks that held his student loans and they would ask them why he was not paying back his loans. Very understandingly, he would reply: "What kind of irresponsible bank gives out these kinds of loans to an 18-year-old. How they ever let people like you open up a bank is beyond me, because you have demonstrated atrocious judgment . . . 26. I had a law professor who just got married and I congratulated her, but she looked a tad sad, so I asked her why. She said that she was happy because she married the love of her life, but as a lawyer she found it all a little bittersweet, because she's just exposed herself to a lot of potential future liability. 27. As a writer, I hear all the time that no one has time to actually read the novels, so instead they just buy the Cliff Notes. It took me awhile, but I caught on, I don't write the novel anymore, instead I just write the Cliff Notes for the novel I was going to write. 28. Much like Jesus Christ, I want to move out of my parent's house by the time I'm 30. 29. Living with your parents after college: everyday when you are given another new chore to do, you go through this analysis, weighing your options - is it better to live here rent free or instead be homeless. 30. The Civil War - a re-enactment gone horribly wrong. 31. Apollo 13 - numerology's finest hour |
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