'I am not an anti-semite!'

'I am not an anti-Semite,' Hillary Clinton declared in a beer hall in a German blue-collar neighborhood outside of Buffalo, New York. She went on to explain, 'Die Rede ist von Miniatur-Lastwagen - bis aufs kleinste Detail den großen Originalen nachgebaut. Und das keineswegs nach Anleitung durch einen Bausatz, sondern der eigenen Kreativität entsprechend' to a chorus of thunderous applause.

Last month, a book came out about Hillary Clinton in which the campaign manager of Bill Clinton's 1970's failed congressional campaign claimed that Mrs. Clinton made an anti-Semitic remark to him in a fit of anger on election night.

Immediately, supporters of Hillary Clinton released various documents which attack both the campaign manager's credibility and motivation. 'These charges are so baseless and so from left field that I can't believe that anyone would take them seriously,' Lisa Caputo - former chief of staff of Hillary Clinton - said on the Geraldo Rivera show.

In fact, these charges were so outlandish and from left field that the Hillary Clinton campaign staff already had prepared a J. Edgar Hooveresque dossier on this campaign manager, which included old letters and other damaging background information, so they could release this information the moment he made this completely ridiculous charge.

Dick Morris - a Jewish American, appearing on Fox News, said that he does not believe that Hillary Clinton is an anti-Semite, but when he was working for her in the '80s, she once remarked to him in a disagreement over his bill, 'You people and money.'

He clarified this statement by saying that he still believes that she's not an anti-Semite. In fact, Hillary personally assured him that she has a deep admiration for the Jewish people and thinks that they are a very clever people and that whole thing about them killing Christ was unfortunate because the Jews did not kill Christ, it was the nails put through his wrists, which was really ironic considering his father was a carpenter.'

Hillary Clinton is shown above visiting Jewish settlements on the West Bank

But just when the controversy appeared to die down, the picture of Hillary Clinton with a swastika magic-markered into her forehead surfaced on the Internet. Immediately its authenticity was questioned by bloggers and other experts. At first blush, according to photography experts at the Brookings Institute, it appeared that someone on the staff of jokezine.com put a picture of Hillary Clinton into his Paint Shop Pro 6 program and attempted to draw a swastika on the first lady's forehead, but he really didn't know how to use Paint Shop Pro that well, so he asked his little brother to help him, but his brother was like 'you are so god-damned stupid, figure it out yourself . . .'

Nevertheless, it was discovered that the picture first appeared in the Dallas Morning News, which picked it up from the AP newswire, which got the picture from the Michigan Militia Picayune, which in turn got the picture from www.rickrulespolitical commentary.com. It turns out that the editor of that website Rick Stevens, is not only a Republican, a member of the Federalist society, a premium member of billo'reiley.com, but none other than Ritalin Rick - the chubby face terror of Mrs. Ryan's seventh grade homeroom.