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The New Threat from Immigration:
La Clown Car - 780 cross-country series



Jokezine.com news service, by Casey Flynn -- At 3:00 am on the border town of Laredo, Mexico, the border patrol pulled over an unassuming, looking clown car with a raspberry soft-served ice cream attached to its roof. The officer asked the driver to step out of the car, and then proceeded to do a pat down search. The officer found in the oversized, fluorescent green shoes of the driver of the car: two pounds of cocaine; a comic book offering advice on how to cross the border into the U.S. illegally, called "The Guide for the Mexican Migrant," featuring a narrator who is an oversized Bumble Bee, a Spanish-language; 'Dummies Guide to Landscaping;' Dan Brown's 'El Codigo Da Vinci,' and a pez dispenser.

The clown explained, "Eh .. eh . .. how do you in habla engles. Eh ... eh we are going to a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus in eh Alamodome in San Antonio, and eh clown shoes, not mi clown shoes eh just carrying eh for an amigo.

At that moment, the officer called for backup. When the two other officers arrived, they ordered that the other individuals leave the car. They watched in utter amazement, as nearly 1000 Mexicans - of all ages - walked out of this four-door car, to the sounds of the carousel music coming from the car's stereo.

After making the necessary arrests, the officer made a report. The officer uncovered that the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus was not even in the Southwest at that particular time, and the clowns in that car had faked documentation regarding their M.F.A. in Clown, Mime, and Creative Writing from the Nuevo School in Nuevo York Universidad.

On the basis of several other pullovers and seizures of similar looking clown cars, it soon became apparent that this was not an isolated incident, but that car was just one in a series of cars appearing around border towns across the Mexican-American border, known - according to the editors - of 'Car and Driver' magazine as:

La Clown Car - 780 cross-country series (essentially a retrofitted Pontiac Bonneville)

This is what is known about 'La Clown car':
- Standard Engine 3.8L 205 hp V6
- Horsepower 205 @ 5200 RP
- Fuel Economy:
City (mpg): 7
Highway (mpg): 12
Dirt Road: 5
Fording River: 6
- The patented Gorditastar engine
- Anti-lock brakes
- Side impact airbags
- Air Conditioning: 'You're kidding me, right?'
- Two-speed manual transmission
- 0-60 in about-an-hour
Entertainment:
Cassette Player: n/a
CD Player: n/a
AM radio: Yes
8-track cassette: Yes
Nav. System: dashboard fluorescent compass
- Seats comfortably a thousand Zapatistas
- Enough leg room for clown feet
- Optional attached pink-colored soft served ice cream cone or a Statute of Our Lady of Guadalupe that glows in the dark at night.
- No muffler
- Runs on leaded gas
- Original equipment manufacturer warranty for the attached pink-colored soft served ice cream cone.

This is what is known about Pepe Rodriguez - the founder of La Clown Car Inc., which is now called, Daimler/LaClown, Inc.'

Pepe Rodriguez

- born 1946;
- famous Mexican athlete;
- In his senior year on the pinyatta-hitting team that won the title in the state of Chihuahua, he famously quoted: "That championship year, we sure ate a helluva lot of candy;"
- Received an engineering degree from the Prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology;
- Brought to court by a forger for allegedly failing to pay his bill for having the word 'Devry' replaced with 'Massachusetts' on his diploma;
- Became an enthusiast of the arts and painting, while working at a shop that repainted borrowed cars from American tourists; and
- Began to manufacture 'La Clown Car' and retrofit them with attached pink-colored soft served ice cream cones or statues of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which glow in the dark at night, so the cars would better blend into the backgrounds of most Mexican-American border towns.