John Roberts caught at Strip Club
By Casey Flynn

Jokezine.com has uncovered pictures of John Roberts with a stripper named Genie aka Barbara Edenisky – famous for her veiled dance – at a DC strip club.

The Senate confirmation for John Roberts as Supreme Court Justice is approaching as both Democrats and Republicans prepare for a potentially heated debate over Roberts. Every day more documents surface that potentially reflect on John Roberts' judicial philosophy. Notably John Roberts' internal memorandums that he wrote to Ronald Reagan when he was Associate Counsel to the Reagan Administration are being read for the first time by anyone.

In one memo, John Roberts wondered whether 'encouraging homemakers to become lawyers contributes to the common good.' If you were wondering what an Associate Counsel to the President of the United States does, apparently it consists of
writing memos like this. Accordingly, it is important that Harvard law school graduates fill these positions as the assignments are both crucial and demanding. In Roberts' defense, he said this was not a slight against women, but rather a larger statement that there are just too many lawyers, and that women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

John Roberts said in a statement made outside of a Congressional building that he has not taken a position on Roe v. Wade, refused to take any more questions, and then got into his car and drove away. His car had the following bumper stickers on it: 'It's a child - not a choice, '40 Million Aborted. Who's Missing From Your Neighborhood?,' and 'Half of the patients who enter ABORTION CLINICS DON'T COME OUT ALIVE!'

The adoption records for John Roberts two children have been released. According to the records, they were purchased for $74,999 each from Romanian gypsies in Honduras and came with accessories baby carriage, toys, etc. As it appears that all proper and legal procedures were followed, this will not be an issue in John Roberts' nomination.

John Roberts' older brother Larry Hagman expects to make the opening statement for him during his confirmation hearings. A picture below of Larry Hagman:

John Roberts is a member of the Federalist Society, the conservative law and public policy organization where conservative lawyers get together, show each other their first edition autographed copy of Justice Antonin Scalia's 'A Matter of Interpretation,' talk in Latin, wait their turn to sleep with Anne Coulter -- the Paris Hilton of the Conservatives, and conspire to put nativity scenes back in city halls.

Apparently it is considered improper during the 'advice and consent' senate confirmation process to ask John Roberts how he would decide important decisions that the Supreme Court has made and potentially will revisit. As a result during John Roberts' confirmation process, the senators will check John Roberts' references, make sure he brought the proper identification – license, birth certificate and social security card, so they can fill out his W-4 forms, have him fill out his form for his parking pass, etc..