Note: transferring it to an HTML code threw off the formatting; intended to be for reading as a humorous screenplay.
FADE IN:
INT. MOVIE STUDIO – NIGHT
GEORGE SINCLAIR is somewhat tall and compact-built with pale blue eyes, sandy hair.
FRED BIERCE is slightly taller than George and has a awkwardness about him both in his appearance and demeanor though not in his speech.
KIM VANDERTORN is tall, thin and lovely with a porcelain complexion, striking features, and long dark red hair.
The three appear to be in line to drop off film at some store.
George
(scared)
I think someone's following us.
Fred
Quiet, George, Kim, did you
hear something?
Kim
Shut up, both of you.
George
They're waiting for us to pass the
bad money, and then they're going
to nab us.
Fred
Shut up.
They walk up to the clerk at the counter. They hand over their canisters of film.
Clerk
You need the usual done?
Fred
Sure, do you have the other stuff
finished?
Clerk
Sure.
He grabs a receipt and disappears into the background. The door suddenly rattles - they startle; approaching footsteps can be heard.
Kim
George, there's no one there,
it's gonna be all right.
The clerk returns and hands over the various canisters of film. He rings up the bill.
Clerk
You still making that film about
those guys who counterfeit money
to pay for their independent film?
Fred
Uh-huh.
He hands them one last canister and the bill.
Clerk
Now my manager, he's quite the
character . . .
While the clerk is speaking, Fred very quickly counts out the twenties. Kim assures George by holding his hand. The approaching footsteps return.
Clerk (con't)
... he says the only person who
ever made any money in the
California Gold Rush was Levi
Strauss by outfitting all the
various prospectors, everyone else
was in debt and sifting through
the mud. Now the gold's
in the movies, and that's what
we do, we outfit the prospectors.
The clerk accepts the money. Unexpectedly, he holds up a twenty to the light. The footsteps stop. Silence.
George
What's wrong?
Clerk
Something's not right.
The doors fly open, and two men in security guard uniform appear.
Security guard
Hold it right there!
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
A group of individuals are shooting a scene in a movie, and security guards are presently stopping them. Everyone in the cast and crew of this independent film grabs a prop or piece of equipment and begins running away from the security guards.
INT. MOVIE STUDIO, HALLWAYS – NIGHT
Everyone is running zigzag through the various hallways with the security guards of the film studio chasing after them.
EXT PARKING LOT, STUDIO – NIGHT, ALMOST DAYBREAK
Most jump into a van; George, Fred and Kim get into an avocado-colored convertible El Camino. The three look back, and disappointment crosses their face when they realize their cinematographer, ROGER TALKAD is arrested. Roger, called Rog, is medium height, Hindu.
EXT. HIGHWAY, DAWN
They race onto the freeway, while two studio security guard cars – skid out - and rush after them.
Eventually, the morning rush-hour traffic stalls the chase.
They all look back at a sea of immovable scrap; the horns are now blaring more noticeable to the score of the movie.
A broad shot of the larger traffic jam, and then the skyline of Los Angeles. The sounds of engraving machines can be heard ratcheting away, while the following letters are typed out: The Counterfeiters.
EXT. HOUSE IN A ROUGH PART OF LOS ANGELES – DAY.
The sound of the alarm can be heard.
INT. HALLWAY OF THAT HOUSE - DAY
The sound of the alarm blares more loudly.
INT. BEDROOM – DAY
The sound of the alarm blares jarringly, and George and Kim are shown lying comatose on their bed.
Kim
Get up.
George
Uh?
Kim
Get up. Gotta go to work.
George
Eh?
Slowly they both sit upright.
Kim
Hey, George, I had this odd dream
last night. We were filming I think
in a studio, and what was it, Rog
got arrested.
George suddenly appears awake. His bulging eyes turned towards Kim.
Kim and George
Rog!
EXT. OUTSIDE SECURITY OFFICE, MOVIE STUDIO – DAY
ROG'S GRANDMOTHER, MOTHER, and WIFE, MIRA, the latter two carrying young children walk towards the door.
INT. JAIL OF SECURITY OFFICE – DAY
Rog is sitting there in a locked room with benches, while two mimes are playing chess. Mime #1 makes a move and hits his clock The door can be heard unlocking. A security guard comes in, motions for Rog, and leads him out of the room.
INT. SECURITY OFFICE – DAY
When the security guard emerges through the door with Rog, Rog's grandmother and Mother begin wailing; the kids begin crying.
Security guard
Do you have the keys to these?
Other security guard
Their prop handcuffs. They snap
right off.
The security guard takes off the handcuffs. He leads Rog over to a window.
Other security guard
Sign right here, go to the Municipal
Court and pay this trespassing ticket,
and then he can avoid a court date.
As he signs the form, Rog appears even more distressed as he hears his grandmother wailing in the background.
Other security guard
Okay, you're free to go.
INT. ROG'S PARENTS HOUSE – DAY
Rog is sitting at the table, as his mother serves him breakfast. Rog takes a bite of the food.
Rog
Curry, again
His grandparents, looking very distressed, are shouting at each other in Hindi. Rog's wife, Mira is quietly sitting by his side with two of their kids. Rog turns to his wife.
Rog
My father hasn't been told?
Suddenly, Vikram appears enraged as he stops in front of his son.
Vikram
How can this be, my own son in
jail! I want an explanation and
I want it now!
Rog
I wasn't in jail, it was a studio
jail, a locked room in the security
guard's office –
Vikram
Jail is jail. You're trying to kill
your mother, your grandmother,
look at them!
His mother is trying to comfort his crying grandmother.
Vikram
You know what happened when your
grandfather tried making salt,
and the English put him away for
five years, hard labor, and left
your grandmother all alone, and now
she hears that you're going to jail,
what's the woman to think.
Rog
We were just making our movie,
after hours. It was just a
trespassing ticket.
Vikram
Making our movie, what is this
nonsense, first you lose your
job –
Rog
The whole department got shut
down - they outsource our jobs
to Bombay, we needed a place to
shoot, I had the key, it didn't
seem like that big –
Vikram
This is not a discussion, your
brother is a lawyer, your sister
is in medical school working all
hours, we arrange this wonderful
marriage for you, you have kids,
and you're running around with
those delinquents making this
movie –
Rog
There aren't just two professions—
Vikram
--No, there's also computers, and
I sent you to UCLA, and you got a
degree in computers. If you want
to work on a movie, get another
job at the studio with computers –
Vikram's pager goes off.
Vikram
I've got to go back to work, but
I'll deal with you later!
EXT. ROG'S PARENTS HOUSE, PORCH – DAY
Mira is sitting out of the porch with their two children.
Rog
I've got to go cleanout my desk.
Then everyone in my department
we're going out to have a drink.
Mira
I'm just a little worried,
you said it will be difficult to
find another job …
Rog
I know …
He kisses her on the forehead.
INT. ROG'S OFFICE IN MOVIE STUDIO – DAY
Rog is cleaning out is desk.
A knock comes to the door. Rog opens the door.
George's, then Fred's heads emerges through the door.
Rog
How'd you guys get in?
George
The girl that normally signs us
in was down there.
Fred
We said that we were here to
help you move.
George and Fred begin walking around Rog's office.
George
Why didn't you tell us it
was your final day?
Rog
You guys can't take anything!
Someone is supposed to stop by to
get my key and parking pass,
so I can't have you guys –
Fred
Look at these fake cameras.
George
Put them in the box!
George finds two prop guns.
George
Fred, check this out.[He tosses a
prop gun to Fred.] Hey Rog,
you want a prop gun?
Rog
Put those away! There's a ban
on carrying those in this studio.
Fred
Consider it part of your severance
package.
George
Hey, you promised us more of that
prop money especially if we aren't
going to have access to these printers.
Roger
I was doing it already, now put that
stuff away!
On the computer screen, a representation of Andrew Jackson and a '20 bill is gleaming. Rog has already printed out a few. Fred and George pick up the 20s.
George
Not bad, you even got the feel
right.
Roger
Use the same type of papers as
the Treasury. Why not? They sell
it on the internet.
George holds a twenty up to the light.
George
Print out as much of this as you
can.
A sudden knock comes to the door.
Chester Galbraith, a smartly dressed, younger-looking thirty-something gentleman, burst though the door.
Chester
Hey, Roger, I'm just here to pick up
your–
He recognizes George and Fred.
Chester
(awkwardly)
Hey guys, how's it goin'?
George
Chet buddy, long time - no see.
You still valet parking over at
that nice restaurant on Rodeo.
Chester
Ah . . ah . . I'm a producer here at
the studio now... Hey what was that
screenplay that you guys were working on.
0h I remember, the submarine one hunt
. . .for . . ?
Fred
(downplaying)
'Hunt for Das Bueno Boat,' - it was my
minor opus, you see the drug cartels
begin to tire of the Mexican
bureaucracy, so they buy a submarine
from the Soviet Union, but we're on
to bigger things, we've got this film
within a film that you'd love to hear
about –
Chester
That's fantastic, we should do din-
la-, coffee sometime
(pointing to his wrist)
Sorry guys, got to go, studio breathing
down my neck. Hey Rog drop the key
and the parking pass off at the
front desk, and there will be papers
there for you to sign. Chop chop because
there's someone coming by in a few to
inventory your office. Good luck.
Chester exits.
George
Hit print!
Rog
There's not enough time!
George
Rog, you heard the man - chop chop –
George gestures with the gun, and Rog complies. George and Fred begin to load up their prop money into plastic bags, while holding their prop guns close at hand.
Fred
Studio breathing down his neck.
George
Oh yeah, he's a regular Darryl Zanuck.
I used to cover that guy's Friday night
shift all the time during my valet
parking days, but now he's on the
other side of the red velvet rope.
A sudden knock comes to the door.
George
Fuck!
Voice
locksmith, we're here to change
the locks.
Rog
One sec.
Rog takes some film, puts it into a manilla envelope, seals it, while the two stuff the money in the bag.
EXT. OUTSIDE STUDIO – DAY
The three walk out with boxes, while the gate slowly closes behind them, and went it finally closes, it sounds like a prison door clanging shut.
George
It's good to be on the outside again,
huh Rog?
Roger
I've got a mortgage to pay and a
wife and two kids …
Fred
There was only trouble in that
place … So what do we do now?
George
Let's go make our movie.
INT. ROOM IN GEORGE'S HOUSE – NIGHT
In a dark room, George is sitting in a chair watching Stanley Kubrick's '2001'. He is smoking some type of pipe, the sound of water bubbling can be heard. An impatient knock comes to the door.
Kim
What are you doing in there?
Let me in.
George jumps up and opens the door.
Kim
Have you looked at those changes in
the shooting script?
George
They're good.
George and Kim walk out into a living room, where Rog and Fred are playing some action adventure video game. The monitor is not hooked up to their old editing machine, but to the video game.
George
(somewhat angry)
Did you guys look at the dailies
yet?
Rog
We just took a break.
George
Fred, I didn't even think that
you liked video games.
Fred
Well, ahh, I don't but I achieved
Level 14.
George
How the fuck are we going to finish
this film if you guys play that
stupid video game!
Kim walks over to a makeshift desk area, near the bay window in the front of the house. At a desk, there's a computer and a printer, and files and film books are strewn about.
Kim
George, come over here, and
let's make those changes.
George
One second.
Cut to:
George, Rog, and Fred are madly pounding away on the buttons and moving their joysticks as they play some sports video game. Kim appears half asleep.
Kim
(yawning)
It's almost two in the morning,
we've got to work tomorrow.
George, Rog, and Fred are madly pounding away on the buttons and moving their joysticks as they play some sports video game.
INT. GEORGE BEDROOM - EARLY MORNING.
The alarm is blaring, and George and Kim appear comatose.
Kim
Get up.
INT. STARBUCKS – MORNING
George, Kim and Fred are in line buying coffee.
INT. SECURITY GUARD OFFICE (THOUGH IT SHOULD APPEAR TO THE VIEWER THAT HE HAS SOME SORT OF JOB DIRECTING) - DAY
He is talking into a walkie-talkie, sipping coffee.
George
Okay, good, move the camera slightly
to the right, a little bit more, hold
it right there, good.
INT. CALIFORNIA PROBATE COURT (THOUGH IT SHOULD APPEAR TO THE VIEWER THAT HE HAS SOME SORT OF JOB WRITING) - DAY
Fred is sitting behind a small desk; his hands type out a few words (the type of machine that he is typing on is not revealed) and then takes a sip of his coffee.
INT. TELEMARKETING COMPANY (THOUGH IT SHOULD APPEAR TO THE VIEWER THAT SHE HAS SOME SORT OF AUDITIONING FOR A ROLE) - DAY
Kim has a script in her hands, and after taking a sip of her coffee, she reads her lines with a British accent.
Kim
Experts are projecting that within
the next year an earthquake - projected
on the Richter scale from anywhere
5.0 to 7.8 - could effect the
Los Angeles area…
INT. SECURITY GUARD OFFICE - DAY -
George
Okay, camera two, good - just like
that, and don't enter until he actually
cuts the bike lock, and then have
security guard No. 1 and 2 enter,
but not before -
INT. CALIFORNIA PROBATE COURT - DAY
Fred is shown evidently typing on a machine with great speed - the actual machine is never shown.
INT. TELEMARKETING COMPANY - DAY
An older woman - heavy makeup covering her skin damaged complexion - sits across the table from Kim.
Woman
Let's try it with an Irish accent
this time, okay?
Kim
(with Irish accent)
Experts are projecting that within –
INT. COMMUNICATIONS DESK OF A SECURITY OFFICE – DAY
George
Camera three, did you get him?
He's running away with the bike.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
George is in his contract security guard uniform. He puts down his walkie talkie.
George
They caught him, I'm gonna lock
up the cafeteria, and when I come back,
I'll fill out the report …
INT. CALIFORNIA PROBATE COURT - DAY
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
Fred is typing away on a COURT REPORTER'S MACHINE under the emblem of the California Probate Court; he is the court reporter as the trial is in progress. He takes a momentary break to massage his wrists when the cross-examination begins.
Attorney
Professor Evans, you've written
numerous articles on the cannons of
construction that are used to
interpret the California state
probate code …
Fred struggles to keep up with the pace of the discussion.
Fred's boss
(whispers into Fred's ear)
Jane called in sick - could you do a
double today?
Fred types as he strains to listen.
Fred
No, under no condition.
Fred's boss
Please, I can't find anyone else.
Fred
No, I'm falling asleep,
(while typing)
My wrists hurt.
Professor Evans (v.o.)
Now in the mixed per capita
intestate system, parties within
the same degree of consanguinity …
Fred's boss
(even more of a whisper)
I can get you some amphetamines to
get you through a double.
Fred
(under his breath)
This is a court of law.
Fred's boss
Oh and coffee isn't an amphetamine.
Fred
It's decaf.
Fred's boss
Okay, Mr. double shot mocha
frappachino.
Fred
Perhaps, but still I can't work,
I think I'm developing carpal
tunnel syndrome.
Fred's boss puts his hand on Fred's shoulder to comfort him. Both of his wrists are girded with braces.
Fred's boss
(emotionally)
If you don't do it, I have to.
INT. CAVERNOUS ROOM IN TELEMARKETING COMPANY – DAY
Kim is shown in a row of people - all with similar headphones - soliciting the same message over the phone. The clock shows – 12:17 p.m. .
Kim
Experts are projecting that within
the next year an earthquake will . . .
DISSOLVE OUT DISSOLVE IN
Kim is shown at her desk later in the day. The clock reveals the passage of time – 2:18 pm.
Kim
(speaking rapidly)
Experts are projecting that within the
next year an earthquake . . . and that
would be our basic package, it covers
earthquakes from 1.0 to 6.0 for all
damage to personalty, realty, and
fixtures …
DISSOLVE OUT DISSOLVE IN
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
Kim is shown to be in one row with many rows in front of her and many rows behind her - with similar-looking women, most in their 20s, who are also engaging in the same type of sales activities. The clock reveals the passage of time: 3:21 p.m.
DISSOLVE OUT DISSOLVE IN
Kim
Experts are projecting …
DISSOLVE OUT DISSOLVE IN
Kim
Experts are projecting …
Kim looks back at the clock hopefully. The clock reveals the passage of time – 3:22 pm. Her eyes bulge in amazement and distress.
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
Fred - still typing - looks over with apparent interest at a smartly-dressed lawyers at one of the tables.
Professor Evans(v.o.)
Well it's a matter of statutory
Construction …
INT. CAVERNOUS ROOM . . . – DAY
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
The image of Kim is completely obscured by endless rows of telemarketers that fill a warehouse. A large second hand from a clock looming over the room very slowly rotates.
deliberately at a glacial pace.
INT. AFTERNOON
Fred, Kim, George lower their time cards into their respective machines, and in one resonant metal clank, they clock out.
INT. BREAK ROOM - DAY
Kim and some of her coworkers are sitting around the break room, smoking cigarettes. JULIE - the older lady with the heavy rouge from before - is leading the discussion.
Julie
and I couldn't agree more, you
should've seen her earlier, don't put
yourself down honey, she can do
any accent, and so darling, and
so beautiful!
Kim
(smoking)
So beautiful? More like, so tired.
I'm just physically exhausted all the
time, and we were almost
arrested the other night –
Julie
Sandy, did you hear the story?
SANDY
I heard it at break --
Kim (con't)
-- and I looked into the mirror
today, and I looked haggard. I mean,
I'm 31, which is like 50 in
Hollywood years …
George, still in his contract security uniform - heavy polyester with fluorescent orange patches, is walking down the hallway and is about to enter the break room.
Sandy
Don't put yourself down like that,
Kim, you're beautiful, you're a
beautiful girl, but it's that
boyfriend of yours –
George is about to enter, but pauses at the word 'boyfriend.'
Julie
And he's trouble, I saw him once
with that temper of his - the way
he yelled at you, Kim I don't know
why you put up with that. You could
have any guy. Kim, don't make the
same mistakes that I made. I was like
you, but I wasted my youth, my beauty
on these losers, they stole it from
me, and I got nothing for it –
Julie bitterly stubs out her cigarette.
Sandy
You break up with him like that, I'll
set you up with my cousin – he's a
producer. He does the Red Stalkings
series for one of the cable networks.
The other day, and he just bought a
BMW convertible and he's a
home owner, which is saying
something nowadays --
Kim
You know I met him, he was real –
Suddenly, she sees a reflection of George against one of the vending machines.
Kim
-- but George's brilliant, he's
just having a hard time …
He steps away, makes loud footsteps, and knocks at the door. Right before he knocks, Julia delivers this line.
Julie
Kim, come to your senses, I don't
know what you see in this guy.
Knock, knock. The presence of George in the doorframe startles the women at the table. Kim smiles affectionately at her boyfriend, who in turn is smiling warmly back.
Kim
I don't know Julie - there's just
something about a man in uniform.
George
You ready?
Kim
Yeah.
After grabbing her bag, she walks towards him somewhat guardedly. Unexpectedly, he throws her over his shoulder, causing Kim and the other women to laugh uncontrollably
and then leads her out of the room.
INT. HALLWAY OF BUILDING - EVENING
Kim
(still laughing)
Put me down, you Neanderthal!
He complies, and they kiss tenderly and then hug.
Kim
(still hugging)
George, I love you!
George
You know Kim, I've got a surprise
for you. I'm going to go home, put
on my best suit - black tie,
the whole nine yards, and take my
girl out to a classy place where
all the Hollywood big wigs hang out,
how's that sound?
Kim
Let's get you into that black tie.
INT. FRED'S ROOM - NIGHT
Fred is sitting behind a large brown-lacquered antique desk. He takes a few stabs at typing on his laptop, but invariably he pauses to massage his wrists. He looks up at his picture of F. Scott Fitzgerald with Zelda on the French Riviera.
EXT. SIDE OF ROAD - NIGHT
George pulls his convertible over to the curb in a blighted - predominantly Latino neighborhood of Los Angeles. He is dressed smartly in a black tuxedo, and she is in a black dress.
Kim
What are you doing?
George
Sit in the driver's seat, keep the
car running.
Kim
You know how to show a girl a
good time.
George pulls out his prop gun. He hums the James Bond theme.
Kim
(shocked)
That's a . . . a gun!
George
On second thought, don't keep the
engine running because I don't want
to waste the gas.
INT. FRED'S ROOM - NIGHT
Fred is still sitting behind his desk, but now he has fallen asleep, snoring.
EXT. SIDE OF ROAD - NIGHT
Kim is sitting nervously in the car; every few moments, she strains to turn her head in an effort to get a glimpse of what is going on in the front room of the house. She hears the distinct sounds of shouting.
INT. FAMILY ROOM OF HOUSE - NIGHT
A group of Mexicans in their early 20s are sitting around the sofa of a family room; George is on the other side of the coffee table. They have given him two duffel bags. When the distinct sounds of shouting subsides in some other room, PEPE - the leader of the group, who has a goatee and a scar on his right cheek - offers these instructions.
Pepe
I told um where the drop off will be.
They'll be waiting for you outside in
the parking lot and it's very important -
A sudden noise comes to the door. Everyone reaches
for their gun, including George who produces his prop gun. The door squeaks slowly open … Suddenly, a three-year-old Mexican boy burst into the room, brandishing a videotape.
Mexican boy
(repeating)
Toy Story II!
The Mexicans in the room burst out laughing and repeat in heavy accents: 'Toy story II!'. A certain Mexican gunman puts his gun on the table in order to free up a hand to put in the videotape, but the gun accidentally falls to the floor …
INT FRED'S ROOM – NIGHT
Fred's snoring begins to die down with the music; his head slowly tilts forward as a jarring gunshot is heard; his eyes suddenly awaken.
Fred
Jesus Christ!
Fred's eyes brighten.
Fred
I've got it!
Fred begins to type with great energy.
EXT. SIDE OF ROAD – NIGHT
George walks to the car with two duffel bags. He puts them in the trunk.
Kim
What was that that noise?
George
I think there was some trouble
back in the alley behind the
house.
Kim
What's in those bags?
George
Some props for the film.
She appears suspicious.
INT FRED'S ROOM – NIGHT
He hears the car horn. He gets up from his chair and walks away from his desk, which is now shown to be set against the bare concrete wall of a basement. He rushes up the stairs, goes through the back of a laundry-mat, where numerous Asians are working, goes into the front where the laundry machines are located. He pulls a white oxford from one of the driers, quickly puts it on over his T-shirt, throws his dinner jacket over his shoulders, and heads out to George's car.
INT DINING ROOM - NIGHT
George, Fred, and Kim are standing before a large dining room; the tables are set opulently with fine china and silver.
Fred
Is it expensive?
George
Very.
Kim
I'm so tired I'm about to keel over.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
They're standing in a long line with other servers. Their boss walks down the line, giving them their table assignments.
Boss
(to George)
Tables 10 through 15.
Boss
(to Fred and Kim)
Tables 16 to 20. Kim, I want you to
go and greet in the front.
The big band is playing; the patrons are dancing.
DISSOLVE OUT DISSOLVE IN
People are seated at the tables for dinner.
George
Fred, cover my tables, I've got
some business to conduct.
Fred
What's going on?
George
Just cover me.
Fred begins refilling glasses at George's tables. George walks towards a back exit with two guests. Kim notices them as they leave; she looks over with a flash of anger at Fred. Fred merely shrugs his shoulders and continues to fill up water glasses.
Guest
These rolls are hard?
Fred
They're hard rolls.
Guest
And another thing, someone needs
to put this soup back on this stove
- it's cold.
Fred
I believe it's a cold soup.
Guest
Well then it's lukewarm.
Fred
But you said it was cold.
Guest
Are you being smart with me?
Fred
I could put it back in the
refrigerator if you think that
would help.
Fred moves to another table, then moves away from the dining area, slips through the coat room, and stands at a bay window. He watches as George talks to three stylishly-dressed guys in their 20s standing next to an S.U.V. Fred observes as George hands over ONE DUFFEL BAG, and appears to accept some money.
Fred returns to the dining area. Kim approaches.
Kim
Fred, where did he go?
Fred
He had to pay the meter.
Kim
His car wasn't in a metered spot.
Fred
I mean pay the meter for someone else.
Boss glares at them.
Boss
Let's get those desserts out.
(looking around)
Where's George?
As dessert is served, the band plays a slow song, and a few couples dance.
INT. LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
In the back room for the catering staff, Kim - noticeably tearful - has been talking with Fred.
Kim
Now, don't defend him anymore, I know
he's back with those drug people –
Fred
I wasn't defending him, he made
a promise to me - that's all I'm saying.
But I really don't care, I'm done,
I've invested too much time into this
project with zero return. Who would
have guessed that this picture business
is enemy No. 1 to the written word?
Kim hands him the bottle of champagne.
Kim
Have some more champagne.
Fred takes a sip.
Kim
Fred, listen I'm gonna change into
something more comfortable, and then
we're all gonna go over to George's and
confront him on this issue, and if he's
using that stuff he was on a year ago,
it's over.
Kim wipes a few more tears from her eyes, stands up - carrying a backpack, and goes behind the lockers for the workers to change out of her dress.
Fred
Of course, I came out here originally
not just to be a writer, but to find my
muse …
He delivers the foregoing dialogue with increasing `deliberateness as he watches her the reflection on the glass front of the snack machine of her unzipped black dress falling in slow motion below her waist.
Fred(cont.d)
We writers need our muses …
Sort of an occupational hazard
Fred appears nearly in shock, as she removes her panties revealing vividly her pale, naked body, and then puts on a clean pair.
George (v.o.)
Fred, are you hungry?
Fred jumps slightly from his chair.
Fred
Huh what?
George
Fred, are you hungry? I hear there's
goin' to be leftovers in the kitchen.
George, very quietly, walks into the room, and stares impassively at Fred. Kim pokes her head out.
Kim
George, where the hell have you been!
Kim steps out, clothed now in jeans and a shirt. She deliberately walks up to George, eyeing him intently.
She slaps him.
Kim
I can see it in your eyes, what
are you on?
George
Don't you ever fucken lay another
finger –
George violently pushes her into a locker, but pauses breathlessly as two women, speaking Spanish, proceed past them, and disappear behind the lockers. A long silence follows. The Spanish women pierce the silence by closing their lockers and walk out of the room. Before anyone can speak again, the phone rings. George picks up the phone.
George
Hello … yeah this is him … really,
you don't say …
George listens for and then hangs up the phone.
Kim
What is it?
George
(smiling)
We've got a meeting at the studio
Tomorrow! They find our counterfeiting
idea highly original –
Fred
-- this could be it!
Kim
Our big break!
With victorious hurrahs, George and Kim embrace exuberantly, and hi-five Fred who is jumping ecstatically up-and-down! Kim grabs a bottle of champagne off one of carts and pops it open.
INT BAR ON HOLLYWOOD STRIP - LATE-NIGHT
Fred and George are sitting at a table at a bar, nursing their drinks. Kim is up at the bar, talking to Chester Galbraith, who is surrounded by 'the beautiful people'. Other 'beautiful people' are dancing in the background.
George
(very drunk)
Is she up at the bar talking to good
old Chester?
Fred
(slurring)
I think so.
George
If you can't parallel-park a car how
can you expect to produce a good
movie?
(noticing that Fred is dozing off,
he splashes some water in his face.)
Wake the fuck up! I repeat if you
can't parallel-park a car, how can
you expect to produce a good movie.
Chester could not parallel-park a car
to save his life.
Kim approaches.
Kim
You didn't tell me that Chester is a
producer at the studio where Rog
worked. Did you know that he won an
award for a movie that he produced at
Sundance? I'm going to go dance
with him. He might be a good connection
for our film.
Kim leaves with Chester's group for the dance floor.
Fred appears slightly more awake.
Fred
You know, we should do to Sundance film
festival this year.
George
I don't ski.
Fred
No, I'm serious we've got to start
making connections, network and what not,
and Sundance is where a lot of the
action is happening.
George is more preoccupied with watching Kim dance with Chester.
George
I won't go there - that's Injun
country. Besides, we got the meeting
tomorrow.
Fred
We've got to stop alienating
Everyone, you have to stop picking
fights with people –
Suddenly, he stands up and heads towards the dance floor. Fred - suspecting the worst - follows closely behind him. The music on the dance floor is deafening.
George
(to Chester)
Could I cut in on this dance?
Chester ignores him. George right fist knocks Chester to the floor. A brawl breaks out. Fred is hit, and he swings back, but someone, who just happened to have been reading a gold braid-bound script, rolls it up and whacks Fred. A group of people who had likewise been reviewing scripts at the tables around the dance floor began to whack the surrounding people. The security guards begin to fight their way through the crowd. The fighting intensifies, as white sheets of paper are swirling around the dance floor.
INT - BEDROOM AT GEORGE'S HOUSE – DAY
The alarm is blaring, and Kim is trying to wake George.
INT WAITING ROOM OF PRODUCER'S OFFICE - DAY
A midget - named KITCHENER - with a monocle in his eye. He's with a platinum BLONDE.
Kitchener
(Australian accent)
It's the story of a kangaroo,
abandoned in the wild, brought up on
the wrong side of the Outback, sent
to reform zoo where he comes under
the tutelage of the great aborigine
boxing champion. Flash ahead when he
has his big shot at the title, a week
before the big match, the Malaysian
mob that controls the bauxite syndicate,
tells him that if he doesn't take a
dive in the seventh round, they'll get
a hold of his gal roo at the Perth
zoo, and put her to sleep with the
fishes under the Great Barrier Reef,
the largest naturally occurring coral reef –
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
The waiting room of the producer's office, and Kitchener has been talking to the cleaning lady. She turns on the vacuum.
Cleaning lady
(to blonde)
Do you mind moving your feet?
The blaring sound of the vacuum drowns out the voice of Kitchener.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
Fred and George - slightly bruised - are sitting in chairs on the other side of the room, waiting impatiently.
Fred
God-damn, it's hot in here.
George
You're telling me.
Fred
Is the AC broke?
George
I dunno.
Fred takes his sleeve and wipes off the beads of sweat forming on his brow. He looks over and notices a dead plant.
Fred
It's so damn hot in here, it
killed the plant.
George looks at the plant curiously, and then touches its brown parched leaf.
George
That plant ain't dead.
Fred
It's not dead?
George
It's plastic.
Fred
It's a fake plant?
George
A fake dead plant.
Fred
(squinting at it)
It looks real.
George
Well it's an authentic fake dead plant.
I was with Kim, and they were selling
them on this shop on Wilshire, they're
very popular, some local modern art
florist makes them.
Fred
So you're saying that's an original
piece?
George
They were sort of expensive, so I bet
it's just a copy, though it looks
like an original.
A secretary walks out of the producer's office.
Secretary
Viscount Reginald Kitchener and . . .
and Lady Mounthausen . . .
The expectant expression leaves their respective faces.
The secretary, Kitchener, and a blond bombshell - dressed in a horse-riding outfit, holding a riding crop disappear behind the door.
George
I thought that was us.
They return to reading their magazines.
Fred
Do you ever regret dropping out of law
school and coming out here to Los Angeles?
George
Law school?
Fred
Remember for nine months we went to
law school, and then we dropped out
when we told are family and friends
that we were leaving for Hollywood to
make it big in the movies. Remember
that, that was about nine years ago
back in Omaha, Nebraska?
George
(struggling to recall)
Me? Law school?
Fred
George - we told our family and friends
that we were goin' to Los Angeles and
dedicate our lives to the art of
making movies, and they thought we
were insane –
George
Hm …
Fred
George, we came out here to be in the
movies, instead we've spent the last
seven years catering. Catering! We
dropped everything, quit law school,
and for what, the art of catering –
George
I've kinda taken to catering, but
you're forgetting, the ocean, I love
the ocean –
Fred
The ocean - I saw the ocean more in
Omaha when we went down to Florida
twice-a-year than we do here.
And Christmas! You know this last year
I completely missed it because it
never snows here, so I have no idea
when Christmas is coming –
George
I had that very problem, but I came up
with this trick. When the floats start
showing up for the Rose Parade, I know
that we're in the vicinity of Christmas.
Fred
I was at work, and I was looking over
at this lawyer, and I was thinking
I probably could be in their position
right now –
George
Hold that thought, I've got some
important news –
Fred
-- What?
George
Now, don't tell anyone – I'm just
tellin' you.
Fred
You're back dealing with those –
George
No, absolutely not, those days are
mostly passed. So okay, if we get
funding from these guys, well I'm
gonna ask Kim to marry me . . .
Fred has an incredulous expression on his face
George (cont'd)
Now I know what you're thinking, I'm
not exactly marriage material, but I
plan to clean up my act, go get some
counseling, talk to someone you know
about the problems back at the farm
growing up in Nebraska, and just talk
about some of the bad stuff that
happened to me.
Fred stares blankly back at him.
Fred
Farm in Nebraska? You were brought up
in the city; your father sold
life insurance.
A perplexed expression crosses George's face, but then with a dismissive shrug, he continues.
George
And you know what Fred, I want you to
be the best man at the wedding – Kim
will insist. Well what do you think?
Fred, struggling for the right words, swallows hard.
George
(confused)
Sold life insurance?
Fred
Probably still does. Well … uhm …
George
Be honest, do you see any obstacles
to us getting married?
Fred
Obstacles? … Well you're not
like first cousins? …
They both return to their magazines. On the cover of the Hollywood Reporter is written the 'Hottest 50 faces in Young Hollywood.' One of the faces is that of Chester Galbraith. George shows this to Fred.
George
You know when we all worked as valets,
that guy couldn't –
Fred
I know.
The secretary steps out of her office, while Kitchener and the blonde leave.
Secretary
George Sinclair and Fred Bierce.
INT. - PRODUCER'S OFFICE - DAY
Errol
Come in fellas. Hi, Errol Devane.
He shakes their hand and gestures to the chair in front of his desk. They all take their respective seats.
Errol
Let's get right down to business -
the twenty or so minutes that I got
a chance to see, two words: visually
arresting -
The phone rings. He picks up the phone.
Errol (cont'd)
Excuse me, uh huh … uh huh … You
say that the talking kangaroo film
sounds silly, okay give me any bullshit
script, put in a cuddly animal, name
the film after that cuddly animal,
tell me what ya got? … two words:
blockbuster … Sure, I know I got
the Aussie-and-Kiwi-Need-not-apply
memo, I know those people are
flooding this town, but if it's a
good idea - it's a good idea …
(cups his hand over the phone)
Sorry 'bout the a.c. not working,
apparently we had some tremors last night,
threw off the generator.
(To the phone).
Sure okay, I'll call you after lunch.
He hangs up the phone.
Errol
Listen, my time's short, I've got
your script, and I plan to watch
more of the movie, but I'm confused on
one point, and I'm hoping that you
guys will clarify it for me. Tell me
if I got this right, this is a movie
about two guys who counterfeit money
to pay for their independent film
about two guys who counterfeit money
to pay for their independent film
about two guys –
Fred
It's simpler than that, you see, it's
a movie about two guys who counterfeit
money to pay for their independent film
about
Errol
- about two guys who counterfeit money
to pay for their independent film,
you see, and that's where I get confused, you see?
Fred Let me explain it in a different way.
You see we've been struggling for so
long in this town that we get the idea
to counterfeit money to pay for our
independent film from the actual script
of the independent film itself, the one
that we've been working on –
Errol
What's her name, Kim something?
George
Kim Vandertorn, she stars in the movie.
He holds up her picture, from the resume, to the light.
Errol
Very nice, very nice … I'm gonna come
right out and say it. I like you guys
and I love this whole independent spirit,
you know layers, complexities - hey
what's going on, I don't know what's
going on, but that's the point, life is
dark and confusing, full of ambiguity.
In Hollywood, everyone thinks inside of
the box, you guys, you think outside
of the box –
George
With all due respect, I don't believe
there is a box …
Errol
(contemplating this)
I like that . Fuck the box …
Give me a week …
EXT. - CAFE TABLE - DAY
George and Fred are having dinner on the patio of a restaurant. George very deliberately pays the waitress with 20 dollar bills. When the waitress walks away, Fred appears confused.
Fred
I think that you might have accidentally
used the prop money?
George
Shhhh, Kim's coming.
Kim kisses George on the cheek.
Kim
How'd the meeting with Mr. Devane go?
I hope that it went well because
I quit my job.
George
It went better than well, look what
gift we got as a token of his
appreciation.
The fake dead plant is on the table.
Kim
Well that's a good sign.
George
He's on board! This is our shot!
Fred here, took a month leave from
his job, and in my case, you know for
security and catering, they'll put me
back on the schedule whenever I call.
Kim
(ecstatic)
I've got to call my friends at work
and rub it in!
She kisses George and disappears into the restaurant.
The waitress returns with change. A nervous expression crosses Fred's face. George gives her a big tip.
Waitress
Wow, thank you.
Fred
I'm gonna go pay the waitress before
we get into some real trouble.
George
How can we get into trouble?
Fred
It's called counterfeiting, it's a
federal offense, tomorrow - the F.B.I.
could be knocking down our door.
George
People who counterfeit are bad people,
they deserve to go to jail, but we're
not counterfeiting, were just
confusing prop money for real money,
we're confused.
Fred
I couldn't handle jail.
George
Fred, calm down, this isn't real, none
of this is real, this is Hollywood,
a mirage in the desert, everyone knows
that the whole purpose of this town is
to confuse what is real with what is
make believe. Tell me which one is the
real twenty-dollar-bill?
He holds up two.
Fred
It's obvious - it's that one.
George
No, that's Rog's prop money.
Fred
So that's the real one?
George
No, that's the copy of some engraved
plate. We're confusing one copy for
another copy. Unfortunately since Roger got
laid off, we only have '156,000 and
change in prop money left, and no
access to the printers –
Rog is looking into the camera.
Roger
CUT! You moved out of frame.
George
Fuck!
He looks down at his director's script.
George (cont'd)
Turn to page 37, and let's go back
and break it up a little …
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
They're shooting on the patio of some suburban house. Kim and the others walk out to their original positions.
INT. BORDERS CAFÉ – EVENING
George and Fred are standing by the counter of the Border's cafe with Kitchener.
Fred
Hey Kitch, have you been able to
cast that kangaroo for that film of yours?
Kitchener
It's hard to find a kangaroo with the
right look.
George
Don't all kangaroo's look like.
Kitchener and Aussie friend
(disapproving)
Hey now, hey now, don't go there!
Kitchener shakes the empty pitcher.
Kitchener
Hey mate, could you fill this up with ice
water?
A female teenage clerk takes the pitcher.
Clerk
Are you guys ever goin' to buy
anything?
She returns the pitcher. Kitchener fills up his plastic cup and takes a sip.
Kitchener
Lemon?
He puts out his cup, and she slides on a slice of lemon. Fred and Kitchener regard the faces, sitting at the tables of the café. Fred waves to a table where some of his old friends sit.
Fred
It's good to see a lot of the
old faces.
Kitchener
I heard that you guys got funding
for the counterfeiting bit.
Fred
Kitch, we're on our way.
NOEL BERMINGHAM, the assistant director on their film, approaches. She's tall, with long, lush black hair, and bright blue eyes.
Noel
The rooms open for our script
reading, we got the key.
Fred
Are the actors here?
George
They're around, I think with Kim.
Hey Kitch, guess who we saw?
Two twenty-something girls approach Kitchener;
Young Lady
It's time, Kitch to start the reading
of the script.
Kitchener nods in the affirmative. In the background, a group of college-aged students begin playing Dave Brubeck's 'Take Five.'
George
Chester Galbraith.
Kitchener
From our valet parking days?
George
He's a producer now. Apparently he won
some award at Sundance.
Young Lady
I saw that film, it was about some
bag lady who is trying to find change
to take the bus home, and the story of
her journey.
Fred
Does she get home?
Young Lady
It was left ambiguous.
Kitchener
(surprised)
Chester Galbraith did that film!
I saw that the at the Venice Beach
film festival.
George
What did you think of it?
Kitchener
Haunting. I haven't been able to
take public transportation since I
saw it …
The group quietly regards the music …
INT. READING ROOM IN BORDERS CAFÉ – EVENING
The cast and crew are all sitting at a table in a reading room in Borders. On one side of the table sits George, Fred, Rog, and Kim. On the other side, respectively, sits LUKE BOSWELL, WESLEY THORTON, DEEPAK SETH, and NATHAN SHAW. Two or three nondescript grips are standing around the table.
Wesley Thorton is tall, good-looking with soft features - brown hair and blue eyes. He has a slight British accent.
Luke Boswell looks like one of the Wilson brothers from the Beach Boys, though he prides himself as a student of Eastern meditation and various branches of philosophy.
Deepak Seth is a Hindu version of Rock Hudson, though with more of a New York accent.
Nathan Shaw is on the short-side, though with a sturdy build and a crooked boxer's nose. There's a hint of an East Coast accent.
Noel is handing out the new scripts.
George
Noel is handing out the new scripts.
Wesley regards his critically.
Wesley
Good, page numbers this time.
George
First of all, I would like to introduce
everyone to Deepak Seth. He'll be
playing Rog in the internal film.
Everyone greets him.
George
You already know, Fred Bierce my writing
partner, Kim Vandertorn, our resident
starlet. Of course Rog something,
Rog
Raj Lakshmanan.
George
Okay, whatever.
George gestures to the others.
Wesley
(slight English accent)
Wesley Thornton.
Luke
Dude, Luke Boswell.
Deepak
Deepak Seth.
Noel
Noel Bermingham.
Fred
She's the assistant director.
George
This is Nathan Shaw, he's a friend
of Deepak's. We're not quite sure
what to do with him, but he's an
actor in the film.
Nathan Shaw nods has head.
George
Before we do our read through, I just
want to make some general points.
You'll notice that some of the old
script has been thrown out, and
we've simplified things a bit. We're
just playing ourselves, I, Fred, and
Kim, who are counterfeiting to pay for
their independent film. You guys are
the actors in the internal film
playing us. Is that all understood?
Wesley
But Kim's playing two roles.
Kim
That's right. We had someone
committed but she fell through at
the last minute
George
Well, it's not that different from
the old script, so if you have any
questions?
Wesley
I'm still trying to figure out
Where you guys are coming from.
George
Well initially we wanted to make
a good movie but now we just want
to make a movie, and considering most
things I've seen in the theater --
Wesley
Point made. In New York, where I
Studied at the New School, our
Teacher would always ask in his
inimitable way, what is the
spine of the story?
George and Fred regard him searchingly.
Fred
Uhm . . .it's more of an invertebrate
story?
George
Were more 'old school', you know?
Wesley
And another thing on page 57,
and I noticed this in the
old script as well, you have my
character say the only 'ism that
Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
Fred reads along in his script.
George
I like that, that's one of Fred's
best lines, what's the problem?
Wesley
Well everyone knows that Dorothy
Parker coined that line, shouldn't you
give her some credit.
George
Fred, is that true?
Fred
Um … um … I was just trying to keep
with the spirit of the quote.
Wesley
We should change it to Dorothy
Parker famously said, right?
George
(to Fred)
Is it in the public domain?
Fred
Probably.
George
Use it and besides how'd we know
that she really said it,
maybe she overheard someone say
it …
Wesley
Well I think that you might look
silly because everyone knows
that –
George
-- it's public domain, matter
settled, now there's one final
thing that needs to be discussed,
we have begun three other films,
and as a result of this experience,
in what I'm about to say, you
might pickup a note of anger …
George pauses to collect his thoughts. As George gives his speech, the following montage sequences should take place: (1) Kim and George waking up early; (2) carrying equipment especially up hills and steps; (3) shooting various scenes over and over again; (4) quick flashes of George smoking the hash pipe; and (5) Rog picking up his wife, Mira the nurse from the emergency room; cooking for his children, and his father making him stock shelves at their family grocery store.
In each scene, the heat - as evidenced by the sweat on the cast and equipment and the gray coloration of smog in the sky, should intensify.
George (con't)
Our first film, two-thirds into
shooting, the lead actress quit
because she was accepted into an
MBA program, our lead actor had
to spend more time at home with his
wife and kids, or she threatened
a divorce, and then our equipment
got robbed, we believe it was an
inside job, so we went back to work
and made some more money, our second
film, not exactly sure what
happened, but two of the principles
fell in love, quit in the middle of
shooting and headed up to Northern
California to start a family, and
so we went back to work for the
man; our third film, there were
creative differences, a mutiny by
the cast and crew, they took off
to make the movie their way,
an approach to filmmaking
called: straight-to-video,
never heard from them again,
already in this film we have had
an actress quit, and she's moving
to New York to be with her
boyfriend; apparently she's
in love, so I and Kim have been
talking these last few days,
and we feel that this is our last best
shot to make it in this town.
So I want to give you one last chance
to walk. If any of you want fulfillment, happiness, to be
valued, I suggest that you get back
in your SUV and go back to Paducah
or Topeka or the Quad cities, and
call up your old high school
sweetheart, settled down and have
those three point whatever kids,
and if things go well, and you make
your numbers that year, little Susie
can get her braces, and maybe if there's
a little extra, you can take the
whole clan to Six Flags over Mid-America.
And then one day, you'll be sitting
at some school event or piano recital
or soccer game, with the other Dads,
sipping a cold beer, and you'll be
going, 'I can't believe team A traded
player X to team B for player Y and
player to be named later because
everyone knows that player Y can't
field and is a crack head, but that
cheap ass owner.' And just then you
look over, and one of your loved ones does something in the game or recital
vaguely extraordinary, and you're
overcome with fulfillment, purpose,
whatever. If this is what you want,
there's the fucken door.
(pause)
My friends, we are making a film,
and that's all that matters.
Tell me now, does anyone want out?
(pause)
Good.
The speech spills over to the next scene.
EXT. - park bench at a public park, next to apartment complex - day
Kim is playing herself; Wesley Thorton is playing the part of Fred. Fred and George, playing themselves, are sitting in chairs behind a fake camera and Deepak, who's playing Rog, is the director of photography. Rog the actual director of photography is standing with Nathan Shaw and Noel Bermingham, who has the shooting script. Luke Boswell is shown meditating, off in the distance, on the top of a bus stop waiting booth. Sweat is dripping from the cameras; the glare of the sun is on the black top.
Rog focuses the camera on Kim and Wesley.
Kim
(tearfully)
He's using again.
Wesley
You're telling the wrong person.
Kim scoots closer and hugs him emotionally.
Kim
I can't take it anymore.
Wesley
Why is it that I get all the hassles
of a relationship with a woman and
none of the benefits?
Kim
That's so cruel, so sex is the
benefit, and pouring my heart out
to you and crying on your shoulder,
this is a hassle?
Wesley
Well … uhm … I've got this bursitis
in my shoulder …
They both laugh.
The camera slowly pans to George and Fred, watching Kim and Wesley begin to kiss. Rog makes a gesture, cueing the actors Fred and George; Nathan Shaw - his shirt drenched in sweat - is holding up the boom mic.
A screech of brakes and a blaring horn; a girl in her car begins screaming to the apartment above to her boyfriend.
JULIO'S GIRLFRIEND
Julio, where the hell were you last
night?
Staccato-blaring of the horn.
Rog
Cut, we've lost the shot.
The cast and crew regard the shouting, a little fatigued.
Neighbor
Shut off your god-damn horn;
I'm trying to sleep.
George appears suddenly seized with anger.
George
Cut, we've lost the shot! I'm the
only one who can say that now we've
really lost the shot!
Rog
George, it was the god-damn horn,
we lost the shot!
George
It's called beautiful background noise,
Horns suddenly sound off in cities,
that's what cities do.
Kim
George, the shot was lost;
Fred looked towards the car.
George
Well then let's shoot it again.
Kim
George, everyone's so tired, we're
not shooting anymore, it's too hot
out here, we can barely breath.
George,
(to Noel)
Read the description for the scene
that we are shooting.
Noel
(monotone)
In this scene, everyone is so tired,
that they don't want to shoot anymore,
and it's so hot out that people can barely breath.
George
The weather is perfect for this shot;
we can't afford to lose it.
FLASH AHEAD
EXT. PARK BENCH AT A PUBLIC PARK, NEXT TO APARTMENT COMPLEX – DAY
Rog directs the camera towards Kim and Wesley.
Kim
He's using again.
Wesley
You're telling the wrong person.
The bell of an ice cream truck can be heard in the distance. Kim, though noticing the sound of the bell that's nearing, focuses and proceeds to scoot closer and hugs him emotionally.
Kim
I can't take it anymore.
The ice truck stops right next to the shooting movie. Kim flashes a gesture of protest to George, but he stubbornly twirls his finger for them to continue.
The driver of the ice cream truck has turned up the sound of the bell, and from the recesses of the urban neighborhood, children begin to hurry over to the truck.
Wesley
Why is it that I get all the
Hassles …
At this point, children have flooded the street set. In particular, a group of kids have tugged insistently on George to buy them ice cream. Kim pauses and regards George affectionately.
George
(To Rog)
Cut.
At the truck, George gets into the front of the line; Kim presently is at his side.
George
(to the driver)
Hey it's on me, for the group.
The kids the cast and crew of the movie let out an ecstatic cheer. Kim embraces him tenderly.
Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, George notices the MAN-IN-SHADES. He gestures to Fred who appears suddenly worried, and hurries over to grab the brown briefcase. Rog as well notices the MAN-IN-SHADES.
Rog
(to himself)
That guy's back again.
George affectionately hugs Kim and then looks back up and the MAN-IN-SHADES has disappeared.
INT. GEORGE'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Fred, Wesley, Kim are sitting at a table. Wesley, sitting next to Fred, is imitating his gestures. Fred is typing at his keyboard, paging through his screenwriting books. Kim is editing the pages that he types. Fred stops typing, wincing.
Kim
Are you all right?
Fred
(moving his shoulder around)
It's my … uhm …
Wesley
(moving his shoulder around)
Bursitis …
Fred takes a sip of his coffee, and Wesley does likewise. Fred regards Wesley critically. Kim stops reading, poised with a question.
Kim
In the script, it's unclear who's
supposed to be the undercover FBI
agent?
Fred appears suddenly startled at the word – 'FBI'.
Fred
Either uhm Wesley or uhm Luke or both
or perhaps even neither or some combination of that …
Kim
I think Luke's the FBI agent.
Fred
Let's hope not.
They both look in Luke's direction. Luke is listening to George. George is dictating into a tape.
George
Memo to Noel. Regarding breakfast;
I like the jelly doughnuts, but not
the ones with frosting. cc// file,
menu, cc//Fred . . .
George is in his makeshift office with files and a desk next to the bay window at the front of his house. Noel has headphones on and is doing dictation; the office appears very organized.
In another room, the various cast and crew of the film are sitting around talking. Next to George's office, Rog, with Deepak sitting right by him, is working on editing the film.
George
Now Luke the important thing you
have to understand is that a film
crew is a lot like an army in that
the most important thing is? … -
organization.
(he pulls out a file drawer.)
I used a filing technique developed
by the N.K.V.D. - the predecessor to
the KGB - in the late '30s in the
Soviet Union.
Luke
Dude, your organizational skills
are righteous?
George
Note the tabs on these files or all
to the right, each character, each
scene has its own file –
Rog
(urgent)
George, you better get over here.
I've gotta show you something.
George comes over to look at the screen.
George
What?
Rog
Look, there he is again, that guy,
probably some tourist, wanting to
check out how we make our film.
George
Where?
Rog
There.
He expands out the image to show a well-built man, with mirrored sunglasses, blonde hair, and a tanned complexion.
George
This is like the fourth time he's
shown up. Can we edit him out without
losing the scene?
George regards the MAN-IN-SHADES with a growing degree of concern.
Rog
I'll try.
George
Fred - get over here.
Kim
(to Fred)
Are you going to pay for the food?
Fred - very secretly - is opening up the briefcase.
George